Title: Hosed
Authors: Pippa Grant & Lili Valente
Genre: Contemporary Romance/Romantic Comedy
Release Date: January 15, 2019
Release Date: January 15, 2019
Blurb
The world's sexiest firefighter is about to get a
second chance with the virgin next door…
He's bossy, arrogant, and so ridiculously hot he should come
with a warning label and a pair of flame retardant coveralls.
He's also the boy who broke my heart when we were in high
school.
I want to move in next door to Ryan O'Dell the way I want to
be the virgin gamer geek suddenly in charge of running my sister's sex toy
factory. Too bad both are written in my stars.
Yeah, I'm the world's oldest virgin code-writing nerd.
And he's the world's hottest firefighter.
And even though he intimidates the heck out of me, I can't
seem to control my libido when he's around.
Where is my dignity? My self-respect? My panties?
Seriously…. Have you seen them? Anyone?
Maybe they're hiding in his bedroom. With my heart.
Yeah, I know. I'm hosed.
So hosed.
Hosed is a steamy, fun romantic comedy between a
firefighter and the virgin nerd next door, complete with a pet raccoon,
scandalous gossip, and dildo football. (No, really.) This romance has no
cheating or cliffhangers, and ends with a banging hot happily ever after.
I Heart Books Reviews
Hosed by Pippa Grant and Lili Valente
Review by Theresa Esterline
Stars: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Fires, Dildos, and a pet raccoon, Oh My!
This is the most hilarious, stop reading to laugh out loud book I've read this year! Granted it is still early, but I would even say in the last year!!! It has a great cast of unusual characters: sexy fireman with a pet raccoon, sleazy ex husband who likes sheep too much, shy computer programmer turned sex toy factory operator, and so many more!!! I hope you enjoy this and laugh as much as I did! In addition to the humor there is also steamy sex scenes and a mystery to solve. And now a bit about the story...
Cassie's sister needed a break from life and asked her to come run her sex toy factory for her. Being the good person she is Cassie readily agreed. Even though she is extremely shy, oh and still a virgin. She's trying her best to get used to her new environment. Ryan is the hot fireman who slows up to the first fire. She remembers him from her high school crush. And here she is riding to work late on her sister's bicycle, complete with dildo handle bars! She can't stop blushing! Later after an encounter with a raccoon, George Clooney, wearing anal beads and chewing on penis suckers she learns Ryan is her neighbor. The three join forces to find the person sabotaging the factory.
Favorite passages:
- “I don’t think dildos have life goals, but I see your point.”
- If any of the town prudes hear that we’re spreading Satan’s sex juice all over innocent children’s sno-cones, we’ll get investigated by the health department.
- I’m a code squirrel who lurks in my cozy den until my portion of the project is complete before emerging to troubleshoot with the other squirrels.
- Fear never got me anywhere I want to be.
- “I’ll never be Team Sex Toy Factory, but I’m Team Cassie,”
- She inches toward me. “Are your humans safe?” “Of course. I trained them myself.” I puff out my chest. “They’ve had all their shots and they’re so docile, I even let them sleep in my bed with me.”
Note: I was given a free copy and voluntarily chose to review this book.
Pippa Grant
Pippa Grant is a stay-at-home mom and housewife who loves to
escape into sexy, funny stories way more than she likes perpetually cleaning
toothpaste out of sinks and off toilet handles. When she’s not reading,
writing, sleeping, or trying to prepare her adorable demon spawn to be
productive members of society, she’s fantasizing about chocolate chip cookies.
Lili Valente
Lili Valente has slept under the stars in Greece, eaten
dinner at midnight with French men who couldn’t be trusted to keep their mouths
on their food, and walked alone through Munich’s red light district after dark
and lived to tell the tale.
These days you can find her writing in a tent beside the sea, drinking coconut
water and thinking delightfully dirty thoughts.
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